Fatherhood & Achievement

Yep, it's time for a corny, manufactured holiday-inspired commentary designed to draw attention to my blog. Just remember that I am not the first to utilize this lame form of synergy, nor will I be the last.

Father's Day is not really a day of rest, relaxation, or celebration. That does not diminish its importance, but in all honesty, do many fathers actually have time to just sit back and let the day pass by?

Just like with Mother's Day, the thought is the reward, as we may enjoy a little more leisurely pace at breakfast, but will find ourselves back in the grind of a normal Sunday rather quickly, squeezing out every possible minute to take care of those things (both pleasurable or laborious) requiring our attention before the demands of our professional lives returns tomorrow. For some, real "work" is as much a part of today as any other, given the realities of our modern seven-day-workweek culture.

There is an opportunity, albeit brief, for fathers to use today to reflect on their personal progress, as parents, spouses, friends, and career-minded professionals. It is not inappropriately selfish for us to ask ourselves today, "has fatherhood made me a better person?"; or, "has fatherhood enhanced my professional life?"

Personal achievement is self-defined, but our ability to ascertain our progress or level of success is heavily dependent on external factors. Daily experiences, along with life-changing events of less frequency, alter our career path, challenge our dedication to pursuits of passions and interests, and necessitate individual decisions that either lead us closer or further from the goals we set for ourselves, for better and for worse.

Parenthood is a life-changing event. My wife and I knew it would be, never mind the dozens of coworkers, friends, and family who told us relentlessly to be prepared once we found out my wife was pregnant. Since our daughter was born last February, we have worked hard to meet the challenges her presence presents for ourselves, our time, and our desire to give her the best life possible.

Most adults possess a desire, at some level, to become parents. This natural instinct does require nurturing in order to prepare oneself for the true reality of the situation once it arrives. For some, the interest never turns into a passion close to, equal, or greater than their other pursuits. Sometimes, they counteract their lack of strong desire by expressing frustration with those who are parents.

Television shows, particularly sitcoms, feature episodes where professionals without children lament and complain about their coworkers never work late or leave early because their son or daughter has a game or recital, or how they cannot enjoy a meal in a restaurant because of some crying baby in a booth across the dining room. They may even go as far as some hair brained scheme to shame the parents among them of how selfish they are in forcing their children, indirectly, upon the lives of those who "choose" not to have them, as if being childless provides a greater benefit to society.

However, this is not an article about whether or not we have a responsibility as adults, especially if we are happily and lovingly married, to have children and accept the duty of parenthood. Regardless of how you feel now, it is likely you felt differently about it at another point in life, or will feel different about it in the future. With the exception of a few (among them, my wife, whose strongest personal passion was and is motherhood) there is little consistency in our beliefs on the issue, consistent with the dominant traits of humanity.

Therefore, what does fatherhood (or motherhood) yield that enhances our lives from a professional perspective? How do we identify the arrival of our sons and daughters, and the daily challenges they create in our pursuit of personal passions and interests that often drive our goals and visible life successes, as providing strength and benefit to our careers?

First, having children often elevates our status with those around us. Parenthood is a milestone that is perceived by society to possess additional responsibility and commitment that can add value to how others assess our character. If new parents choose to recognize this change in external perspective and respond in kind by setting the right example in raising their children, as well as in their handling of professional duties, then the circumstances only magnify our potential. If we ignore and behave unprofessionally, or hold on too much to our pre-parenthood pasts, then the bestowed stature will be lost, and our presence at the workplace or within a community will fade into irrelevance.

Next, if we choose to embrace the roles and responsibilities of parenthood, we are forced to make decisions that reduce or restructure our involvement in various pursuits. Broad career goals are often drilled down to those that apply most to the skills and interests we either have the most involvement in or tie strongest to personal passions. Choosing to carefully evaluate and improve one's focus in order to strengthen career opportunities enables us to establish ourselves as knowledgeable and experienced authorities on specific topics, subjects, or skill sets, increasing our professional value. Without this channeling, an unfocused career tends not to gain master competency of anything, weakening an individuals ability to market themselves for advancement over time.

Finally, our decision-making skills as parents set examples that can greatly influence not only our like abilities in the professional world, but also the consideration of current and future supervisors, bosses, investors, or clients. Children may not always behave properly, and at times can be downright nasty. A parent's response to these circumstances, and the manner in which it either changes their child's behavior or modifies the situation as a whole, are critical evaluations of our capabilities as mature adults in the eyes of many onlookers. Mothers and fathers who handle the situation in a manner that displays confidence and obtains a positive end result earn praise and opportunities, while those who only magnify the problem with their own antics usually receive public disapproval.

In each example, the manner in which we approach the gift of parenthood is the key to its potential impact on our ability to pursue and achieve in the professional world. Whether we want it or not, the arrival of a child does automatically identify us to everyone else as mothers and fathers. We cannot avoid these labels, and it is in our best interest, with respect to the future of our newest family members and the potential for personal career success, to embrace these new identities and display the same commitment to their responsibilities as we have to our other passions and interests.

On this Father's Day, I can reflect on the year-and-a-half of experience my daughter has provided me and recognize how she is responsible for a great deal of success in my own career. This is not the best gift she gives me today, for her presence, love, and trust are far greater blessings that cannot be compared. However, we would all be blind if we did not see just how much the lives of our children add not only to our world at home with family, but also to our success in the professional workplace.

When it comes to your life and college, be selfish

Britney Wasserman, a student at UNC-Chapel Hill and intern at the Pope Center for High Education Policy, contributed a first-hand account of the decisions that landed her in an unpleasant predicament for the first 2 years of her collegiate experience. Initially, she started at North Florida University, after passing up an opportunity to attend Florida State (where my sister will soon start her Master's program) due to the interests of someone other than her self: her boyfriend.

It is very easy for any of us, especially in our early years, to attempt to please those whom we care about most (teachers, parents, mentors, significant others) by valuing their interests above ours. This is perfectly fine when we are thinking about where to go out to dinner, but there is no place for it when we are faced with life-changing events like going to college or choosing a career path. Advice and counsel can be welcomed, but in the end, our personal interests must take priority above all other factors, even those of loved ones, in guiding our final choices.

Britney's story had a happy ending, even with the breakup with her boyfriend. I saw this to some degree while an undergrad, given that Tennessee Tech did have a regional student body with plenty of high school couples. Unlike a weaker and disinterested North Florida, TTU is a proven institution with a strong academic tradition, respected programs, and an overachieving faculty in numerous subjects. However, regardless of the prestige of the college, if it is not the right fit for the individual student, the chances of success are minimal (as they were for many of my former temporary classmates).

Being selfish when it comes to your college (especially given the money involved), or your career, is the responsible course of action. It could even mean that the best interest of your future would be better served on a path that doesn't involve traditional higher education (though will require some form of lifelong learning, as all careers and pursuits do). Regardless the case, if you have researched and identified a prudent path to achieving through the pursuit of personal passions, do not let the interests of anyone stand in your way.

Handling the "Worthless Crap" label

I knew I would eventually find one of these posts to work with that was recent and relevant. Courtesy of "Captain Capitalism" (h/t Phi Beta Cons) we have another example of perhaps the most common criticism made of many seeking career opportunities or life direction that do not "have a plan" or know where to go: they are "worthless crap."

In this case, the blogger hypothesizes that government does not work because its officials have the wrong backgrounds. Using his home state (Minnesota) legislature as an example, he argues that only 19% of its members earned college degrees in "worthy" subjects. He considers worth degrees to be those that "actually have some kind of net positive benefit to society," while the remainder majored in "'worthless freaking crap'... degrees rich spoiled kids pursue as a hobby with no real intention of ever finding a real job."

There is no need to provide his lists for each category. You know them already because your academic pursuits (past, present, or future) have likely been labeled by many people (parents, teachers, friends, and so on) as either having tangible, productive value, or simply "worthless" endeavors that will provide no benefit beyond the classroom. Captain Capitalism does argue that many business management degrees (not Accounting or Economics, but those involving procedural topics such as general management and HR) as worthless, too.

In the end, our theorist contends that the difference between worthy and worthless has to do with the presence (or lack thereof) of mathematics in the chose field of study:

"The MORE math a major has, the LESS likely these lazy slobs are to pick it as a major. Ergo, they are not majoring in a discipline or study that actually will produce something of worth to society, they choose to major in a hobby that requires little to no math simply because math is difficult."

Of course, all of this is only serving to depress many of you. Perhaps you are thinking back to your classroom days, whether it be high school or college, and are asking yourself "if I had only done my math homework" or "I should have listened to that career counselor and chosen medicine over philosophy."

Nothing will change your past. Honestly, you really do not need to. If you are not sure about your interest in such an intensive career as medicine, engineering, accounting, or another form of applied science, there is no guarantee that you would have continued on the path to completion. More than likely, you would have dropped off somewhere along the way, feeling even more disenchanted with your future. That does not mean that you can simply ignore the importance of work ethic and understanding the concept of certainty (both developed through the study of math and applied sciences) either.

The key fact to consider is that your choices are not "worthless," even if they are wrong. A former (and my only) college roommate earned his first degree in music education. I could tell he had strong analytical characteristics and impressive work ethic and personal discipline that enabled him to excel at his chosen instruments. However, less than a year after graduating, with a few months of high school music teaching under his belt, he visited our school again to look at a degree in engineering (don't know much else, but I think he is doing well regardless).

Does any of this mean his first four years of college were "worthless?" Absolutely not! Neither was my first year as an engineering major and four subsequent years earning degrees in history and political science. Our initial paths may not work out completely, but they serve to show us what our true passions are and how our skills and talents can best incorporate them into a successful career. My youngest sister may have a degree in dance, but she is by no means "worthless" when you consider that she also manages productions, teaches dance to children, sews and stitches costumes for almost everyone she knows, and builds sets.

There is, however, "worthless crap" amongst us. You cannot identify it on the basis of a credential or diploma, for these qualifiers tell us little about the person who possesses them. The key is their backgrounds, experiences, and results. For every philosophy major who "contemplates their navel" before heading off for their half-shift at the local free-trade coffee shop, there is likely one who owns a successful business that succeeded by tying their education to other interests and personal strengths.

There is also, very likely, an accounting or engineering graduate depressed about the world around them, unable to contribute because while they possess the analytical skills sets, they do not have the passion or desire to apply them. None of these people are "worthless," but in some cases, the intentions and directions they received along their path might as well be.

From a policy perspective, I can agree with the writer that government does possess a strong percentage of people who do not possess the experience and perspective to understand the impact of their decisions and policies on the public they are supposed to serve. Often times, as a professional public administrator, I question my own understanding of this critical dynamic. The point about the importance of math is also very applicable. It was a favorite school subject for my father and his parents, and I enjoyed it as well (being the only History/Political Science major to graduate that year with a full year of Calculus).

My professional success is tied directly to my analytical abilities, especially when it comes to math. However, effective perspective requires knowledge of many other subjects and disciplines. In public policy, given the requisite to achieve and maintain equity with respect to a given service or activity, one must consider the history, philosophical backgrounds, and other aspects of the public and the jurisdiction as a whole.

There is also something else lacking in Captain Capitalism's arguments that is most troubling. At no point does the writer mention the role of faith, as an element of character or component in proper decision making and work ethic. Faith is the key to uncovering passion and tying it to our natural talents and abilities. Faith is not a set process, but rather a vehicle for spiritual exploration with no certainty of timeline or limits on false starts and failures. We might want to find our way to our "chosen" futures as quickly as possible, but faith is more concerned in directing us to where we really want to go, no matter how long the trip.

Nothing that helps lead someone to a future of achievement, however we as individuals interpret it, is "worthless crap." In the end, that seems to be the most contradictory component of Captain Capitalism's argument. Capitalism succeeds best in an environment that respects individual liberty, which encourages the individual, not those around them, to prioritize the value they place on themselves above how they are considered by others. If we limit declarations of value to those with certain academic pursuits or careers and discourage them from the pursuit of their passions, then we turn against the environment that enables the greatest possible success and opportunity for all. In some ways, we have seen that for long enough already.

Passion critical to career choices, especially for today's young women

Last Sunday, Fox & Friends featured a story that did not surprise me. Honestly, I expected it sooner.

It appears that many of the young women in New York City who held lucrative positions as investment analysts and real estate agents, now disposed from those opportunities by the financial meltdown, were entering another high-profile and potentially-lucrative line of work: stripping.

Eventually, we will hear that the trend even extends to other questionable professions for these women. It is very unfortunate, but again, not surprising.

I don't know much about stripping, but I do know a little about dancing. For the most part, I have my sisters to thank me for this as they both attended dance classes and performed in numerous recitals and productions throughout their childhoods. One of them, the younger of the two, developed an unbelievable passion for the art. Eventually, she decided that dance would be her focus in college in beyond.

This is not the "safest" career choice by a long shot. Professional theatrical dancing is an extremely competitive industry where very few talents in a a pretty large pool make a successful living off our dream. Dancers with a lifetime of training from renowned performer, choreographers, and teachers have a slim chance to reaching Broadway or a position with a renowned company in ballet or other forms.

My sister didn't even have those benefits. Her instructors at the dance schools she attended back home in Tennessee did their best, but we did not live in a major city. She had little more than one dance school option at a time, taking what they were able to give her. With the exception of summer camps and Governor's School, she was very limited in exposure to the professional circus awaiting her.

Regardless, she made it to one of the top undergraduate institutions for dance in the country. This week, she was accepted to one of the top graduate institutions. Since graduating with her Bachelors 3 years ago, she has worked as a college recruiter and admissions counselor (for student-artists), taught dance for studios in her area, made costumes for fellow dancers, stage managed productions, and even started her own production company. Amongst those she graduated with in the Dance program, she is likely the most successful, both respect to the field of dance (albeit unconventionally) and the ability to be self-reliant.

She did take one piece of cautionary advice prior to starting school when she agreed to minor in Business. Bringing forth those skills encouraged her to diversify her interests related to her passion for dance and the performing arts. She will be prepared for a lifelong career in the industry, as a performer, choreographer, instructor, professor, company owner, etc.

In case you're wondering, she never came close to taking any clothes off on stage, not even for "artistic" reasons. I probably wouldn't allow it as her brother, but it is truly not her style. The fact that she is able to make a life out of what she loves while maintaining an attitude toward the artistic side that distances herself from commercial opportunities in her field is difficult for me to understand, but she succeeds regardless (and likely will continue to do so).

As for the fallen angels of Wall Street, the profile article suggests that these individuals are not terribly concerned with how they earn their money. While articles such as this often lend themselves to superficial impressions, one could argue that the transition from the world of corporate finance to adult entertainment was not a major issue for the people interviewed, since it does not seem that they had any strong passion with their careers in the first place.

More than likely, these individuals were focused on the power and attention their former jobs brought them. If that is the case, it is easy to see why they would swap over to something that enables the same result, though in an entirely different environment void of much except lust and physical evaluation.

There is a part of me that is very concerned about this with respect to Gen X and Gen Y female professionals as a whole. So many of them have been encouraged into fields that do not lend themselves to passion or an internal sense of desire. Does anyone really want to grow up to be a pharmaceutical salesperson? Did any of the "Ladies of Enron" who posed for Playboy after their company imploded have an interest in energy trading before it was presented in a recruitment brochure from the company or a business school?

For at least 2 generations, the best of the female gender, those who combine intellectual ability with poise and beauty, have been encouraged toward careers where the talents, as identified by others, can be best utilized. Rarely are these the talents I believe these individuals value the most themselves. My youngest sister, along with the older one, both detoured from this path. My parents played a large part, as did their strong desire to pursue careers in line with the interests and abilities they enjoyed the most (my older sister has long possessed an interest in medicine, which she relishes today as a Physical Therapist).

I still see the unfortunate trend continuing today. It is natural for women to be naturally drawn to and inspired by careers that best utilized their internal and external abilities. This is not an indictment against female dominance in public relations, marketing, journalism, accounting, sales, or a host of other industries. However, parents, mentors, and the higher education community have a responsibility to make sure that all young women of talent pursue the interests they value most as individuals, not direct them to pursuits that only serve to reinforce the worst stereotype of feminism: the pursuit of power without substance or meaning.

To conclude, please consider what I mentioned before: it is best to pursue your professional wants and maintain balance with your material needs, not vice versa. Power is a form of materialism, often represented by wealth or physical stature. Focusing on this is a want, especially when you are starting out in life, does not provide the opportunity for lasting, personal achievement. Instead, it only encourages someone to make decisions in order to maintain the position and avoid the sense of "failure." It does nothing to move us forward in a path we truly desire.

Rush is Right... on college

Regardless of what I think politically, I agree with anyone who believes that Rush Limbaugh is a polarizing individual. He would probably concur as well. However, there are times that he is absolutely right without question, once you take the political ideology out of his comments.

Such is the case with the state of modern higher education. On his radio program today, Mr. Limbaugh took a call from a collegian who complained about the atmosphere of the campus and his fellow students. The monologue in response to this call provides the basis for an excellent argument against what our colleges and universities are today, applicable from numerous angles.

Naturally, the comments possess strong political sentiments (for the record, I tend to agree with them). However, that does not change the true essence of Mr. Limbaugh's point, particularly when applying his own life story (and personal dislike for attending college) to the situation at hand.

The most important point he makes is the following:

If a person does not leave college as an independent, critical thinker, it was a waste of time -- and college as a waste of time under that definition, because you don't have a lot of independent thinkers coming out of there... We all know that college is not about developing the individual. We all know that college is not about preparing individuals to pursue their own happiness with confidence, to have their own unique solutions for the problems that await them.

I absolutely agree with this. I doubt that many parents and potential college students, as they visit the institutions of their choice, think about freedom, individual creativity, or pursuit of substantive self-confidence, or ask questions that enable them to determine if the school provides an applicable environment. The tour and discussions are about majors, job placement, social life, pedigree, networking, and a host of other issues that focus least on who a student is in the singular sense.

Unlike Mr. Limbaugh, I love college and the classroom environment. I practically grew up on a campus and cannot wait for the opportunity to return there. The thought of encouraging the intellectual development of others, particularly when it comes to embracing the creativity necessary to achieve substantive success with the capacities God gave us, drives me toward this passion.

For those thinking of college, I would only recommend it if the passion for the knowledge and associated career you strive for gives you the fortitude to withstand the assault that awaits in the classroom for the first day of the first semester. Within the first week of a student's tenure, they will be challenged by faculty and fellow students to a point where they will be forced to choose between the beliefs and values that guided them so far to success and strength (which they will be told are not acceptable to achieve collegiate greatness) and the path of ideological conformity masked within a counterculture that either encourages social supremacy or non-substantive academic elitism.

Choosing to stay true to who you are does not mean that college will not change you. It is a great time to learn and grow and develop greater appreciation and understanding of your passions, especially if you can learn new ways to apply them. The classroom can be a conduit, even with the most difficult of professors, but it is not the source. Anything that will be worth knowing has to be acquired on your own.

The same is true for careers. Naturally, we all have to pay the bills, but that does not mean that we do ourselves any favors when we choose to commit ourselves to a profession or long-term plan that does not enable us to do what we want. I may not be a professor, but my employment allows me to apply the skills I enjoy most and develop the background of experience that will serve me best in providing real-world examples and perspective once the opportunity for a teaching position presents itself. At the same time, through avenues such as this and other forms of professional and public outreach, I do get to engage in teaching others about those subjects and topics that interest me most.

To conclude, Mr. Limbaugh's beliefs on the positions of the Obama Administration or practically every other political or social issue may drive you to madness or insanity. I cannot help that. However, nobody can argue with his track record of personal success and his ascension to significant prominence in American media and politics. That would have only been possible because of his determination to pursue his passions in life and discounting those conventions that only stood in his way. For every individual, this is a path to achievement worth understanding.

Leavit's "skill" piece provides excellent perspective of C-A-R and resume improvement

In this week's "Reinvent" tip column for WSJ, Alexandra Levit provides a succinct plan for focusing career searches on passion-oriented skills. Identifying past examples where these skills created professional benefit through "Challenges-Actions-Results," as well as channeling the personal energy toward your passion with position-oriented "functional resumes," are excellent ways to invigorate a stagnant search or restart your pursuit of a better professional future.

I believe Levit will have more great articles to come. In the meantime, check out her blog.

Facing Up to the Time Value "Correction"

Unemployment, furloughs, and general malaise about our current economy create a devastating impact on anybody's asset portfolio. While many of our investments take a ride in the marketplace in a manner beyond our individual ability to control, one commodity we personally overstated in value in year's past is perhaps one of our most important today: time.

For the past several years, I noticed how many people, young and old, leveraged their bank accounts, personal contacts, and anything else of material value in order to avoid having to give up any extra hours or minutes, or even seconds, to the world around them. Fundraising for charities lost all matter of creativity and friendship-building, with the events held up as successes nothing more than opulent check-writing exercises.

Many friends and colleagues would buy just about anything on impulse if a salesperson or coworker told us it would save us time. Sometimes, the results were truly productive, such as with the mass adoption of PDA's, Blackberries, and the IPhone. I would imagine, though, that many are spending their newly found "free time" as permanent vacationers from their former employer trying to turn some of these doodads and high-tech trinkets into cash, or something that will help them get by another month out in the proverbial cold.

Time is valuable, but as every mentor (family or otherwise) taught me, it only benefits you in the way you use it. So often, those I saw so effective at saving time on the job or in public wasted it so frivolously at home or elsewhere. If you hung around a Starbucks or bookstore coffee house these past couple of years, you saw a lot of people withdrawing their time savings, doing nothing while enjoying a $4 latte.

What is important for us to realize about time is that it cannot be saved like any other investment to use so much later. Time is allocated to each of us equally in 24-hour increments a day. We can't "bank" what we do not use. Every hour and minute has the same potential to enrich our lives, as well as those who can benefit from our services as professionals or kindness as individuals of faith.

Every day for me today is as busy as I can make it. Even recovering from a cold this weekend, I am still trying to utilize every possible moment, whether it's helping my wife with an upcoming project or taking my daughter out for a drive amidst the late-winter rain and cold. When work arrives Monday, my internal schedule will be jammed with tasks and duties, followed by evening rituals where I have the opportunity to enjoy time with my family. Right now, every day is a full day.

Much of the reason why my time is utilized is because I am pursuing personal passions in my professional life, creating a career that applies my natural abilities and connects with my interests. So many took a different path in the past decade, simply accepting jobs that promised financial security or opportunities for systematic advancement. Unable to overcome the emptiness they felt despite their perceived professional success, many turned to the commodity of time. They have learned now, however, that time is not a commodity, but rather a resource that is only available as it arrives and passes.

For those with time on their hands, use it to identify and embrace those personal passions that can lead to professional success. Recognize that the hours available today will only be available today, just like tomorrow expires at its end. The key is to take advantage of the day available, morning and night. Build upon what you knew at its beginning, the knowledge, experiences, and values you learned from days, months, and years past. Apply this background to grow in some manner or way each day, whether through accomplishment or learning lessons out of failure. Regardless, if time is used to its potential, you will end the day with more than what you started.