The graduation gift suggestion table at my local bookstore was a case study of the modern cliches applied to how we honor those finishing their academic pursuits and going forward into the real world. For some reason, we think that the occasion calls for canned inspiration, whether it be in a children's book, spiritual guide, or framed presentation of some iconic image.
Given the circumstances this year's graduates face, especially the uncertainty of the economy and available jobs, one would think inspiration and encouragement is what these foot soldiers of the future need. Perhaps we should send our son, daughter, or cousin out to battle with a leather-bound planner and a copy of "Oh, the places you will go," with a little inscription from us inside the cover saying how proud we are of them and how we know they will be outstanding wherever the go from here.
In reality, many of these same graduates have been encouraged and propped up most of their lives. Encouragement does not lead to motivation, since the later is an internal attitude and the the other is purely external influence. What matter now, more than anything, is an recognition by those entering the "real world" for the first time of the environment around them, the challenges magnified by circumstance, and the opportunities existing just beneath the surface.
These three factors should be the focus of a graduation gift in any year, not just a "miserable" one like 2009. Therefore, here is a quick list (by type) of "do" and "don't" buys for those who will be picking up diplomas in the coming weeks and months.
Books - Inspirational
Do: Consider books that showcase timely studies of personal perseverance and success in the face of adversity or struggle. Kelly at TarHeelsInTransit recommended The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Titles like this that tie recognition of reality and mortality to faith, optimism, and success through passion are great for those uncertain about their futures given the lack of jobs or "visible" opportunities. When looking for an alternative title, make sure that it is about someone that the graduate can relate to in someway. They do not have to be living in the 21st century, but they should have some tie to the interests of the next generation. Possible choices include athletes, musicians, coaches, teachers, and businessmen. Try to stay away from politicians, as people often discount their works as blatant attempts at self-promotion.
Don't: Whether they are graduating high school or college, it is time for these children to grow up. That first means they need to be drawing ideas and inspiration from the works of those they want to be, not from whom they once were. The sooner our graduates stop receiving "Oh, the places you will go" or "Where the wild things are" or anything like this, the better off everyone will be. We may have positive elements of childish nature in ourselves, but we need to step up and grow up, and the way we recognize adult accomplishments serves to reinforce our expectations for their future.
Books - Instructional
Do: Works that provide insight on skills and concepts that can lead to personal and professional success are a great idea. However, the nature of the book should serve to encourage the critical mindset developed by a student during their time in academia. Granted, we must also strive to transition the idealism and fantasy and integrate it into the facts of reality. Jim Collins' Good to Great and Built to Last are great transition pieces. Collins developed basic tenants to success, backed by significant research he showcases and uses for case studies throughout his books. Not only will a reader learn how to adapt their approaches in ways that have proven to yield positive long term results, but they will also see examples of the greatest benefits a college education provides (critical thinking, research analysis, rational decision-making).
Don't: Two different types of books should be avoided. First, don't buy anything that is full of "encouragement" and empty of tangible benefit. The "Chicken Soup" books fit into this category, as do many other series' titles that in many ways only serve to who the reader that what they are experiencing, if its adversity, is not uncommon. That is not a bad thing, but if there are other ways to prove such and offer effective alternatives.
The second type is the "in your face" book. The Larry Winget collection is the best example, as are the works of the Jesus of personal finance, Dave Ramsey. Both of these authors, who draw upon their own experiences of failure and lessons learned, do provide some valuable insight. However, I am not for punching someone in the face if they do not deserve it, which these 2 authors do on a regular basis. Their books are great if you are 30 years old, out of work, and deep in debt. New graduates need to be brought down to reality, but they don't need to be kicked in the shins and spat on. If you give them a Winget or Ramsey selection, they'll probably give you a cold shoulder next holiday party.
Personal Items
Do: We have a strong desire to give graduates something they will remember and cherish for a lifetime. However, we should ask ourselves if such a choice is practical, given the present circumstances, or perhaps a means of indirectly encouraging a materialist approach to adult life. Personally, a graduate's first focus is practicality. This not only means functionality, but also appearances that reflect a mature, adult focus. Briefcases, handbags, portfolios, are great ideas, but make sure they look professional and understated. Business cards and stationery also make great gifts. If you do want to give them a keepsake, a nice pen is a great choice.
Don't: Unless you are a parent, I would avoid trying to buy a new graduate something involving technology. If you are a parent, ask your child first to make sure it is relevant. I remember being in an electronic store 2 years ago while a pair of obvious grandparents were picking out a digital pocket dictionary. They asked for my help and said it was for their granddaughter's graduation. I asked where she was graduating, and they told me "law school." They eventually could not find one they liked, which was the best possible result. Had they bought one, it would probably still be in its casing, or exchanged for an iPod gift card.
Just with technology, another don't is anything that today's graduates no longer use because of technology. Unless you know they use one, do not buy a graduate a planner. This is especially true if they have a PDA phone (Blackberry, iPhone, etc.). If you do buy one, daily pages are not necessary, as everyone now pretty much maintains their schedule using a computer program like Outlook.
Others
Do: Some great choices for anyone include gift certificates for personal coaching or skill development training. Firms like Strategy Performance provide these services to a wide cross-section of individuals and businesses. As their CEO recently told me, such programs offer a chance to "give the gift of success."
Another great idea is a gift that connects graduates to opportunities through activities and networking. Young professional organizations can be found in many cities, including Rocky Mount. Many of these programs are organized by the local Chamber of Commerce, and membership fees are almost always less than $100 per year. Through activities, workshops, and the development of personal contacts, your graduate will learn about job opportunities, potential sources for customers, and ways they can enhance their personal and professional profile in their local community. You could also give them membership in their campus alumni association, especially if they are relocating to a major city or somewhere else with a strong presence of graduates from their institution.
Finally, while they may be itching to get the heck out of school (or not), it never hurts to help them maintain a relationship with their alma mater or the organizations they spent most of their "free time" with. Making a contribution in their name to the school or their fraternity/sorority/club will serve to keep them in contact with the world they are about to leave behind. Eventually, they will want to reconnect, and it is made all the easier if there is already an existing post-graduate relationship in place through fundraising.
Don't: To put it mildly, probably less than 1% of college graduates have a reasonable workplace wardrobe before they graduate. However, this is not something that should be done as a present. Gift cards are not a bad idea, but they should be to places that provide the right mix of value with knowledgeable advice. This is especially true to men, who likely have just one suit that they look absolutely uncomfortable in. Don't buy the clothes, though, as it does need to reflect the graduate's choice, and represents them starting to take some responsibility in decision making.
Gift cards in general make a lot of sense, and they enable graduates to get some practical items that reflect their needs and interests. However, as much as to encourage responsibility as it is to avoid looking cheap, gift cards for grocery stores and similar places should be avoided.
In the end, if the graduate does not appreciate your thought and consideration, regardless of the gift, you do have the right to pull it from their hands, call them "spoiled" and force them to quickly learn the lesson of shame. My advice is meant more to help those giving gifts make decisions that will enable them to see the greatest possible benefits (i.e., value) from their generosity. The right gift ends up being any gift, so long as the recipient maintains an attitude of respect and appreciation, necessities for their growth, development, and future achievement.
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