Week of Wisdom, Day Four: Relationships are rare gems

We're now in the second half of the Week of Wisdom. After today, there will be only one more day and piece of advice. As you see, the themes of the first three days tie into one another pretty well. When you start out, you have to put aside the advice of others when it only serves to frustrate to disengage you for your focus. Then, once you start making progress, you have to realize that the only acceptable path those around you will acknowledge is upward and forward, as they cast you aside in disgust when you eventually slip up. Of course, you also learn the value of criticism, as it can help grow support for your ideas, ensuring the investment from others needed to make it a real success.

Throughout the time it takes to move through the lessons explained so far this week, you engage in the time-honored tradition of networking. Whether by handshake or phone call, email or across a restaurant table, you meet and interact with other individuals whom you did not know before. These contacts can provide benefit in your professional development, whether directing you to new opportunities, providing trusted guidance, or simply serving as a pool for potential customers and referrals.

Networking is a pretty democratic process nowadays, long opened up from the Rotary Clubs and Chamber of Commerce meetings of the past. Everyone from churches to businesses to open organizations such as one I am part of enable people to meet face-to-face through facilitated social and educational activities. Then, of course, there is the magnification of contact generation made possible by the Internet and its most significant development since the .com boom, social networking.

My work and focus on passions draws me to opportunities to network with hundreds, if not thousands, of people a year. I gather business cards and write down phone numbers. Often, I will call or email them back just to remind them of who I am, or apologize for my less than stellar one-on-one conversation skills.

Networking and contacts are the foundation, but these resources do not provide benefit unless they transform into something far more personal. Just like the significant variance in the quality of diamonds, we often learn that the key to our social circles are those few (relatively speaking) individuals whom we do not see as contacts, but rather relationships.

I noticed that career advisor and author Lindsay Pollak focused on the cultivating of networks during a recent TV appearance (h/t Tar Heels in Transit). As I mentioned in a prior post, relationship building is a constant process that not only requires a time commitment, but also incorporation into our daily routines. This is a pretty busy time for my professionally (hence the lateness in my posts and my general lack of sleep), but I can point to at least 3 to 5 things I did every day to maintain and grow my professional relationships, whether they be emails or lunches or talking someone through their own career malaise.

Networking, in and of itself, is also a passive exercise. In some ways, even the most natural-feeling first professional encounter can still feel like a glossy sales pitch without the product demo or provocative wall calendar (speaking as one who started their career in finance with a vehicle maintenance shop).

When you get past that first face-to-face or phone call, your instincts will direct you to those you see as potential for relationships. Obviously, never do anything to "write people off" and always make sure to recognize and respect those who have the potential to help you, even if they simply are not the ones you want to invest your limited time on a more personal, though still professional, level. In a natural manner, those who pique your interests most, express support for your passions, or look most in need of assistance in their own endeavors will rise to the top. From there, it is a matter of applying the "soft skills," often an educational experience in itself, that make the process of personal relationship development proceed. There is no quick answer or solution to interpersonal communication, and it is likely that even the most professional and business-oriented of relationships start out of common interests outside the office or in another field or topic.

Thank you for your continued reading. We will present Day Five and the end of our first ever Week of Wisdom sometime this (Friday) afternoon.